Lest your taste not run to pie fights, however, I've cooked up a whizzero of an indoor contest. It works this way. First, you buy two tickets to "The Fearless Vampire Killers etc.," Then you go inside and -- get this -- if you don't laugh even once during the whole movie, you get your money back!
This would be a really popular contest because there would be even more winners than in Double Money Bingo.
The night I went to see "The Fearless Vampire Killers," for example, the whole audience would have won because nobody laughed. One or two people cried, and a lady behind me dropped a bag of M&Ms which rolled under the seats, and a guy on the center aisle sneezed at 43 minutes past the hour. But that was about all the action. There wasn't even a dog that ran onto the playing field.
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